"Great joy comes when those little boats -our children- grow into mighty seafaring vessels filled with gospel light."
-Neill F. Marriott
Since it's December we have pulled out our 25 Days of Christ ornament set and have been doing them every night with Camden. We take the time to read the scriptures with the corresponding ornament, watch videos, look at pictures, and read quotes. His excitement every night is contagious! He loves them and I love watching him learn.
At the close of our discussion we put on a musical video about the nativity and Christ. Every night without fail he asks if we can "watch Mary". My heart swells as I watch this two year old quietly watch a video of our Savior. The peace that fills our home is tangible. His expression is one of love and happiness. He picks almost the same one every night. Throughout it he'll say "mommy there's the star!" and "there's Mary! And baby Jesus!". As he points out the various people I often stare at him in wonder as my eyes well up with tears. This small boy loves his Savior. He loves learning about Him and the people who made up so much of who He was. More importantly, he retains much more information than we think he can. Camden is the biggest light and example in our family.
I cannot fathom loving another child as much as I love Camden. He's a ray of sunshine. He's a ball of nonstop energy, laughter, and kindness. He's extremely polite which makes this mama swell with pride anytime he says sorry, thank you, or excuse me. I think if I could sum him up it would be he just loves life! Some of mine and Matt's favorite moments are when he climbs up onto our laps and says "hello mommy!" or "hello daddy!". Very rarely is he sad and answers question with such enthusiasm! We love him so.
He's finally coming around to the idea of being a big brother. Matt and I tried for ten months to conceive our newest addition. It was hard and a stressful time for me. I already knew I had problems with fertility and I wanted so badly to have at least one more child for Camden to grow with. When he didn't seem to want anything to do with a new baby it broke my heart. But now almost every morning he looks at my belly and says, "Hello baby Tate!". I'm excited to see them together and to feel my heart grow to include another little best buddy.
This pregnancy has been dragging on forever! I say that because I am so mentally and physically exhausted from the complications, but more importantly I want to hold him! I'm ready to meet this sweet little spirit that we tried so hard for. There isn't a day that I don't thank my Father in Heaven for this miracle. It's really hard not having a smooth pregnancy, especially with a toddler running around, but the Lord doesn't give us trials we can't handle. I fully believe that. If this is what it takes for me to get a healthy baby into the world then so be it.
This Christmas season I've been reminded of a lot of blessings we've been given. Sometimes they randomly come to my head. Other times I really have to think to notice them. But they're always there. I love my family. I am so incredibly thankful that I married Matt. He's gone above and beyond this pregnancy. I couldn't do it without him. I'm thankful for Camden. I'm thankful of his cuddles in just the right moment and the tender words of "mommy, it otay" when I feel like my body is going to give out at any moment. I'm grateful for how independent he is and can play quietly when I need a rest or need to get a bit of housework done. I'm grateful for Tate who will be joining us in March. Even though it does hurt at times, I'm grateful for his daily rib kicks that let me know he's still there.
Most importantly, I'm grateful for my Savior. Christmas is wonderful and a beautiful time of year. It's exciting to get those decorations up, listen to Christmas music, wrap presents, and feel the change in the air. Let us not forget in the midst of everything our Savior. If it wasn't for Him we wouldn't have this beautiful holiday to celebrate.
